Why You Shouldn't Try to Hatch Chicks in Congo

One needs only two things to hatch in chicks a classroom: fertilized, fresh eggs and an incubator kept at 99.5 degrees F. But even the most simple of things can be made impossible in Kinshasa. Why?

1. American incubators run on different voltage than what we have in Congo.

2. Even after you rig up transformers like you know what you're doing, you'll realize that the Congolese light bulbs don't fit into the American incubator.

3. Getting light bulbs transported from American to Congo without getting smashed is a very tall order.

4. My French cannot handle the complexities of requesting eggs that come from a hen who has been shacking up with a rooster, eggs that have only exited hen within the last week and which are not speckled with fecal matter, but if they are, sand it off please and for goodness sakes, don't wash the eggs in water!

5. Someone will have thought it a brilliant idea to pack the eggs in a metal can and careen through gargantuan potholes to deliver them to my classroom, leaving us with 8 eggs minus the two smashed ones, minus a third with a hairline crack that we are incubating anyway but will probably dispose of after two weeks lest it explodes (it happens).

6. Bumpy delivery notwithstanding, the eggshells in Congo are incredibly thin and porous. I only hope this does not mirror the bone density of the Congolese.

7. The power is frequently cut, sending the temperature of an incubator plummeting to something way colder than the underside of a hen.

8. When the generator kicks on, electricity buzzes through our outlets with more power than ever. The temperature shoots up causing an impressive array of chick deformities.

9. We are not in America so there is no friendly farm up state but not too far up who will take the chicks back upon hatching. IF they hatch that is.

Battling items 6-8 at the moment on Day #2 of Incubation 2011.